Brotherman bill

William Davis Parker

"All love for the Brotherman, no love for the other man"

William Davis Parker, better known as The Brotherman Bill, is a multimedia artist and entertainer. With a BFA in Art direction/communications design, awarded by the PRATT Institute of art and design, Bill is taking the creative world by storm.  A cartoonist, a standup, a broadcaster, a designer, an illustrator, a writer, and even a rapper, no medium is safe from the Brotherman.  Currently Bill is serving as the host of Our Founding Liars, a conspiracy theory parody blog, as well as producing his first album under the persona Cass0nva de Generate.  This website serves as a platform for his projects as well as his pseudo intellectual ramblings.  Have fun.

Plants Respond To Humans Complimenting Other Plants: Jealousy Ensues

Scientist compliment plants while rapidly growing greenery behind cries out for attention.  This is due to a sickness  of hearing how "perfect" the other plants are.  The scientist have nicknamed the plants Marshas and Jans after the popular television show The Brady Brunch.

Scientist compliment plants while rapidly growing greenery behind cries out for attention.  This is due to a sickness  of hearing how "perfect" the other plants are.  The scientist have nicknamed the plants Marshas and Jans after the popular television show The Brady Brunch.

 

Chances are the only seeds you're planting are deep seeded psychological issues according to a new study published under BOTANY TODAY. The Georgia based experiments suggests that gardeners unknowingly cultivate their plants with insecurities thanks to the poor choice of words and time spent on individual sprouts.

The idea that plants respond to human emotions was made popular from German professor Gustav Fechner’s book Nanna (Soul-life of Plants) which suggests that plant life feeds off positive energy via sound and pleasant dialogue.  Over a hundred years after the seminal text’s publishing, a new break through in botanical science shows how effective our words really are.   “As trans-formative as our positive talk to the plants were, we noticed an even higher significant change in the surrounding plants in audible distance. “ Says English botanist Henry Ivy.  “It’s as if the plant is growing envious of the other plant’s love.”

For instance, when the scientists complimented one subject's purple petals,  the shrubbery directly next to the subject grew an unusual deep purple.   “It was like it was trying to over compensate for something” Says ivy, “It was a little pathetic if you asked me.”  When told the plant had “Too many pretty petals to count” the opposing greenery grew twice as many buds and bloomed twice as fast, assumingly to seek attention and take the spotlight off the other plant.  “How obnoxious is that?”

In the case of the Boston Fern, a common house plant, the scientists uttered the words “You’re not like the other plants.”   The adjacent fern grew “an unusually large leaf that obstructed the appreciated fern’s view” from the scientists.”    Ivy has exclaimed he has never seen such passive aggressiveness in the plant world and he see’s eerily similarities in his current relationship. 

That particular observation is slightly related to a British study conducted in the late 90’s in which botanist Benedict Weeds concluded “Plant dispositions are surprisingly parallel to human nature.  We told a Rose Bush it was getting a promotion and proceeded to water it every day.  The smaller bushes surrounding it only received water every other day and did not grow as fast as the Rose Bush.   "Some hung in there and continued to do their photosynthesis duties, while others seemed to slowly give up and wither away.  It was quite amazing to see.”

Ivy explains the tonality of the words is crucial to the results of the experiment.  “If I serenade the plant, the others will do their best to be noticed.  After some time of whispering sweet nothings and promises of building a better future together,  we discovered cross pollination soon occurred.  Perhaps an attempt for one plant to move in and steal another plant’s gardener.   However when I brought in a local New York City construction worker to yell ‘Ay, Nice buds’ neither the subject or the other plants responded.   When the construction worker exclaimed ‘Hey, you should say thank you when someone compliments you!’ they continued to grow their natural cycle and pretend there was no human interaction.”  The scientist chuckled and stated“If I was a plant, I would do the same.”

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