9 SIGNS YOU BAGGED A REAL MAN
Ladies, we all know the dating game isn’t easy. It’s hard to filter out the good guys from the losers. Heck, if you’re not careful it may take years into your relationship to realize who he truly is. We all want the same thing. A real man. But what exactly makes a real man? With this guide you’ll be able to filter out the fakes from the phonies in no time.
1. Flash your pocket mirror at him. Does he have a reflection? According to science only real things have reflections. Looks like you’re one step ahead of your girlfriends, cuz’ you got yourself a real man!
2. Poke him with a stick. Is he tangible? Congratulations! You found yourself a real man
3. Look for a skin like texture. Is he made of water color? Sorry honey but he ain’t the man for you. That’s Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid. Not a real man at all, stay away.
4. Take him to your local Doctor. If he determines he’s made up of atoms and molecules, then it looks like you got yourself a genu-ine real man! If he looks at you funny and says “this is not a real man. You brought a mannequin to my office. Why did you bring a mannequin to my office.” then it’s back to the search for you kiddo!
5. But wait, is the doctor male? If so, give him the stick poke test before handing out your copay. If he passes, than rest assured you found yourself a real man! Oooh, and he’s a doctor too? Score!
6. Does he introduce himself as a real man? That’s shady. Just like “nice guys”, self-proclaimed real guys probably aren’t real. What’s scary is they may actually think they’re real and will act violently at your accusations of non realness. You don’t need that in your life.
7. Don’t build him. Real men already come assembled by Mother Nature. If you purchased and built your man out of a blueprint than roll the dice and try again. He ain’t real.
8. Take Medication. This is only for the ladies that are prescribed anti-psychotics. Sweetie, we know you like him but you gotta understand he’s just not real! It’s your left lobe’s inability to process information correctly. Take that pill, and get back to reality. Your girlfriends miss you and are dying to introduce you to real men outside of the institution’s cell.
9. Be hydrated. Real men don’t only come in desert mirages. If he sticks around after the hallucination chances are he’s the real deal!